How to keep the conversation flowing
31. 5. 2016
Are you in contact with your international love, but feel that because the connection is not particularly strong, you might end up losing him or her?
Don’t worry, stay positive – nothing is lost! Here we highlight a few areas in which trouble could occur, and offer a few ideas on how to fix them. Real life is often very different to life on the internet, especially the kind of life encountered on online dating websites, so here is some advice.
The most frequent reasons given for a lukewarm reception to your communication
- Via the internet, many people are in contact with many other people, and it’s not until they meet on a real date that they discover if there’s a genuine spark that will jump between them. When looking for a partner, contacting people is what we do – it’s a natural situation. Almost daily, we face unexpected and uncomfortable situations, and these sometimes give cause for us to worry and put us in a strange mood, enough to make us feel uneasy about communicating with other people. Remember, while it’s polite to say, "Sorry, I have some worries at the moment,’’ you’ll soon discover that it’s not everyone who wants to talk about your problems.
- Some of us don’t use the internet 24/7. While some people might spend many hours online, there are those of us who are busy at work or study and therefore don’t have time to connect to the internet every day.
- Perhaps the person in whom you are interested doesn’t want to prolong the communication.
- If you feel the communication is not progressing favourably, it could be a good idea to check your profile. This is your unique selling point, but if it contains a detail that perhaps puts you in a bad light, it can easily discourage your potential partner. Click here for help on how to perfect your profile and how to select the best photos to include.
How to repair the communication:
- Be in a positive mood – Try to imagine how you would feel if the person with whom you are communicating is negative and writes endlessly about their troubles.
- Allow time – All of us need time, some more than others, and remember that it’s not everyone who will say, ‘’I love you,’’ after just two messages.
- Limit your messages – It could be that you are sending too many emails and this is making the recipient feel uncomfortable. Therefore, it’s a good idea to limit the amount of messages you send.
- Use “open questions” – It could be that you need just a little more practise in the art of internet communication. When you want to be in touch with someone, it helps to know what to talk about. Read the profiles and study the photos – you’ll be sure to come across something interesting, something that will make it easy for you to initiate a conversation.
- Try to know more about the person with whom you are in contact – if he or she sees you have an active interest, there’s a much greater chance that the person will remain in contact.
- Even when everything seems perfect, the communication doesn’t always progress in a favourable manner - It can happen that the person you are interested in has no particular reciprocal interest for the time being. It is often the way of life, so if this happens, just maintain a nice friendship with this person and stay in contact. Friendships can often mature into something stronger: people need time to understand what their heart is saying.