30. 5. 2016
Questions are important because they help you to understand the person in whom you have an interest. They form part of every conversation between two or more people. In this article we explain what type of questions you could normally use and when would be the best time to do so.
This type of question, beginning with a ‘’question word’’ (who, what, where, why, etc.), will help you start a conversation. It’s the style of question to use when you want to know more about the person you’re contacting. Open questions will help to break the ice and create a good and interesting atmosphere for your first date. Your partner will readily understand your interest, and you’ll find you can easily use these questions during the whole event.
These are also known as ‘’short questions’’. Beginning with a verb, a closed question won’t leave too much opportunity for your date to respond with a long answer. The answer will usually be a simple YES or NO. This type of question can be used when you want to “stop” or ‘’slow’’ the conversation, and can be a great ally if the person you’re dating talks too much!
However, avoid using this type of question at the end of the date. When the time comes to ask, ”Do you want to see me again?”, it’s quite possible you’ll get a negative response if your date is not too sure about committing to a future meeting. At the end of the date, it’s advisable to use an alternative question.
Alternative questions can be used when you want to give your date a choice about how he or she will respond. Alternative questions are ideal in that they offer a little latitude into how your date might answer when, for example, you ask him or her if they want to see you again. If you only offer a closed choice (YES or NO), the response will be quick. In case your date is not too sure about the on-going chemistry, an alternative question will allow him or her to respond with a neutral answer instead of outright rejection. This intelligent format will also give you an opportunity to make a good impression.
This type of question could be: ”Would you like meet for a drink, or maybe go to dinner, next time?” Other examples might be: ‘’Would you like to go cycling next time, or have a picnic somewhere?” or: "Do you think you might have time to meet again this week or next week?"
If your date has any interest in seeing you again, he or she might choose to go for a drink, a picnic, or to go cycling - or perhaps something else if your suggestions didn’t meet with approval.
If the person you date has no interest or perhaps isn’t ready for another meeting, you’ll get a neutral answer, such as: ”I’m not sure about that” or some similar response. So, the situation is saved and there’s still an opportunity to change your date’s decision. You’ll have more time to work on your conversational skills and maybe sway the uncertainty into something more positive.